Friday, December 9, 2016

Why does feeling happy amaze me?

I have been experiencing a very unique feeling lately. I am happy! I know, for many people, feeling happy is an everyday occurrence. It should be I suppose. Its the holiday season, or as I call it the Christmas Season, and there is Christmas music everywhere, people filled with goodwill, and chilly air with fireplaces and cookies. Who wouldn't be happy right?

Well for a group of individuals, the holiday season is sad and downright depressing! Many don't do will with the shorter days and much colder, wet nights. All the hustle and bustle of shopping is a reminder for some that they don't have the means to go on a buying frenzy. Many are estranged from family or have moved far away and can't afford the trip home. The holidays can be brutally difficult for a portion of our population!

Ok, now that I have pointed all that out, back to me. I usually am in that portion of humanity that is mopey during December. Yours truly has been known to spout more than once that I wish I could fast forward through to the beginning of January. I get a bit crotchey and bah humbuggy by this time of the year.

Not this year! I was lying in bed the other night and came to the realization that I am at peace this time. This was a rather startling epithany if I must be honest. I can usually come up with something I am not happy with, but not at the present time. My life seems to have righted itself out and everything is pointed in the right direction.

I have a new job and a reoccurring source of income. That in itself is a major uplifter for me. I have come to the conclusion that I tie my self worth in with the need to contribute monetarily to our household. If I am not employed, I am a drag on our limited funds, but when I am bringing in the moola then I am not a free loader.

Now, this job started out as seasonal and it is retail! If you have never worked retail, you have no clue how difficult it is. I mean in the beginning I was running myself ragged trying to be the one that everyone knew they could depend on. Because of my people pleasing, never say no demeanor, I was all over the place. This actually led to me being talked to by my boss for not completing my tasks because I was too busy helping in other departments.

Last week, I had an opportunity dropped in my lap by accident. I was asked by the manager to help a district manager in the footwear department. As I was working on my task, I was approached and questioned by the head district manager. I must have given him the answer he was looking for because he hired me permanently on the spot for the footwear department. I now not only have my position sealed as a permanent employee, I have my own department to run! You just never know where an opportunity is going to present itself!

So, I have gainful employment, am in my own department, I can enlist the help of other employees to my department, and I report to the manager and district managers only. I am elated at the turn of events. No more worrying about paying off that huge credit card bill I racked up while being unemployed. The repo man won't get the car I just bought before getting fired from my other job.
I have money to spend on Christmas gifts AND I get to see my family for the first time in 2 years. My health is fairly good and I have a roof over my head that I own.

So lying in bed, I stretched out my toes in bliss and realized I am at peace at this time in my life. It is a unique feeling for me not to have a single worry, but I think I can get used to it. Moral of my story is to keep believing in yourself and that things will get better. There is always a light at the end of any tunnel, and if you need help reach out. Don't think you are a burden because you are not. So many people attempt suicide at this time of year because they feel hopeless. Please please I beg of you, find someone to talk to and hang in there. You are valued, you are loved and most of all you are needed.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Available 24 hours everyday
I wish everyone a safe and loving holiday season. Hug your kids, parents, or grandparents. Check in on your elderly neighbors and make sure they are alright. Talk to ANYONE if you feel you are worthless because you aren't! Learn to love yourself and learn to be happy.

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